I didn’t choose to fight. But a couple years back, I did get caught up in the “War on Christmas” at a Starbucks on the south side of the Milwaukee area.
At the time, I was a regular. I had gotten to know the nameless coffee-pouring baristas – the one with the boyfriend who liked to visit; the one who wanted to go to a tech school but instead went to University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee at the urging of her parents and then felt saddled with loans; the guy who wanted to earn more money and then left for a factory job; and the manager, a graduate of a top Midwestern university, who wasn’t sure if she wanted to try for an office job or angle to move up through Starbucks.
Bill O’Reilly usually fires the first shot. Every year he talks about the “War on Christmas,” though lately he’s been saying he’s won because, allegedly, retailers that were once requiring employees to say “happy holidays” instead of “merry Christmas” have backed down.
I was in line at my Starbucks when one of my barista buddies wished the customer in front of me “happy holidays.” The customer objected firmly, saying the holiday is called “Christmas” and one should say “merry Christmas.”
In that moment, it was just so clear there were no good options. If the barista next said “merry Christmas” to me, he’d be saying it to a Jew who doesn’t have Christmas. I completely understand that I live in a society where the majority celebrates Christmas, that there’s social pressure on people to say “Christmas,” and what a barista says to me has no actual impact on my inner religious life. So I’m not going to get all offended over a “merry Christmas” greeting.
But what’s a barista to do? He looked bewildered and hurt. He told me he was just trying to be aware that not everyone has Christmas like he does.
I told him I’m Jewish and in my opinion you can’t win – so just say whatever works for you.
Keep in mind, this exchange was taking place in the middle of the Christmas season. Have you ever noticed how the culture transforms as Christmas approaches? As a (somewhat) outside observer, I have to say it’s beautiful and impressive. There is an admirable sweetness that blossoms among our Christian friends at this time of year.
Years ago, on Christmas Eve around noon, I remember people starting to jet out of where I worked at the time. One woman went around the office and gave absolutely everyone a genuine, loving hug. I rolled with it, focusing on my happiness to see her so joyful. Never mind that Chanukah doesn’t deliver quite the same emotional punch and it had been three weeks earlier.
And this, my friends, is the problem with the “War.” The real war is not O’Reilly’s imagined war of secular liberals against people who want to celebrate Christmas. The invisible person who chose richly red cups for Starbucks this year – less Christmassy than in past years, according to a smattering of looking-for-a-problem Tweeters – is probably decorating a tree at home right now. Really, this is not isthmus targeting Christmas.
No, the real-life enemy soldiers are young baristas, making too few bucks an hour while trying to find their way in life. They live on the front lines during our sister religion’s kindest season, enduring moments of unnecessary bitterness.
Be kind to your Christian friends. They’ve got a lot to put up with.
Rob Golub is editor of the Wisconsin Jewish Chronicle.
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