‘I could breathe again’

For the past two years, Heather Polan has spent her nights after shifts in the emergency room worrying about the hostages.  

Finally, the night came when the remaining 20 living hostages were returned. “My community was up in the middle of the night,” Polan recalled. “It was surreal. It felt like every day was Oct. 7, and finally we came to Oct. 8.” 

“It struck me then – this is the first night I’m going to bed, and there are no living hostages in Gaza. I really felt like I could breathe again.” 

Polan is a Milwaukee native, nurse and the leader of the local chapter of Run for Their Lives, a movement to organize local runs or walks that call for the release of the hostages held by Hamas. She led the Milwaukee chapter in running and walking each week for the past 20 months, creating a community amid “the ashes of Oct. 7,” she said. 

Polan knows she is an extrovert who “feeds off of other people’s energies,” she said. For Polan, during the two years when “it felt like every day was Oct. 7,” she couldn’t just sit and think about the hostages – she needed to act in some way and be with others who felt the same.  

Polan was in San Diego running a marathon in January 2024 when her sister in Illinois sent her a link to the Run for Their Lives website. Polan filled out an application to start a chapter. She said starting the group was just what she needed at the time. 

“It’s my type of activism,” Polan said. “I want to physically be there. I want to be with other people who feel strongly about whatever it is I’m advocating for.” Polan also said this type of public activism “felt very Israeli to me,” having watched Israelis stand up in the streets for their country. 

Polan started a WhatsApp group and set up a weekly time on Sundays to meet. She heard that Liya Chernyakova, a Jewish resident of Riverwest, had been walking around with an Israeli flag draped over her, and had gotten a few others to join. Chernyakova’s and Polan’s groups ultimately joined together to become one Milwaukee group.  

Most people in the group did not run, but some did. Sometimes there were four people who showed up; other times, especially after the attack on Boulder’s Run for Their Lives, there were dozens. But every week, for 20 months, there was a group there, rain or snow, walk or run.  

Of the global movement, Polan said “their mission was to keep the hostages out in the ether, for people to see their faces, see their names, see a group of people walking.” Polan tried to stick with this mission, but said that for her, there was another reason for running: finding community. 

“We didn’t bring the hostages home by walking every week. But what it did do is create this beautiful community of people who all felt the heaviness of the situation. I just needed a community of people who got it,” Polan said.  

A few days after all 20 remaining living hostages were returned to Israel, Polan hosted members of the group at her house for a bonfire. They reflected on the past two years, the return of the living hostages, and what the future holds.  

Polan looked around at the group, finally able to smile and be festive again. She realized that “everyone, with the exception of one person, was someone I did not know before Oct. 7.”  

“I’m from the Milwaukee community. I’m 53 years old,” Polan said, “I thought I knew every Jew.” Yet, most people who became part of this weekly community were people she had never met before.  

“One of the good things that has come out of the ashes of Oct. 7 is that it’s really brought out the Jews who are sort of circling the wagons around each other,” Polan said. “We built some really amazing friendships from this group.” 

The group does not have plans to continue meeting each week, but Polan said “the connections will be there. We will find ways to do advocacy for the remaining (deceased) hostages and somehow try to turn this beautiful community that we’ve built into something that still persists.” 

Polan had a trip to Israel set to begin a few days after the last living hostages were released. She said she debated moving up her flight to be in Israel for the historic moment, but decided “I want to be with my community. I want to be with my walk group.”  

She said she’s glad she did, because it gave the group a chance to gather once more for their bonfire. “It was just so lovely. A bonfire feels very Israeli,” Polan said. “And it was such an eclectic mix of people. We know each other from the walk, and we just needed it. It felt so great to sit around with each other and collectively take a breath.”