A ceremony in Germany to lay stones memorializing family members who died during the Holocaust drew two Jewish Wisconsinites across the ocean.
A German man reached out to a cousin of the Pachefskys, of Wisconsin, through Ancestry.com in March. He invited them to a “stolpersteine” ceremony in Gersfeld, Germany to honor their family members who died during the Holocaust.
Stolpersteine, which literally translates to “stumbling stone” in German, is a memorial project in Germany that aims to honor individual victims of Nazi persecution. These concrete cubes with brass plates are embedded in the ground of the last freely chosen residences of these victims and bear their names, life dates, and details of their persecution.
In May, Lori Pachesfsky and her son, Andrew, along with a cousin’s wife and their daughter, flew to Germany for their family’s stolpersteine ceremony, unsure of what to expect out of the visit.
“We booked flights kind of last minute and really didn’t have anything planned other than what day the ceremony was,” Andrew said. “Literally, I went into it totally blind.”
On May 16, the stolpersteine ceremony was held at the house where Lori’s father, Ernst Goldner, and his family once lived.
“These (volunteers) did so much research,” Lori said. “It was amazing. They taught us more than any of us even knew about our family and our family’s history.”
Just before the ceremony, Andrew asked if they could place the stones in the ground. Their German guide told him that no one had ever asked him that before and gave him permission to go ahead. Lori got to personally place her father’s stone and her grandmother’s.
“It was a beautiful thing. There were 18 stolpersteines put in that day,” Lori said. Out of the 18 stones placed, 13 of them were for family members of the Pachefskys.
Later on, the Pachefskys were able to meet the current resident of his grandfather’s house, Kurt Attinger, at a local restaurant bar. During their first conversation, Attinger made a point to say that his “parents bought the house fair and square.”
Andrew clarified that he was not confronting Attinger but simply wanted to connect over the shared history of the house, and they had a nice conversation. Attinger even showed him a photo album of his own childhood in the house.
“I learned that while nothing can compare to what happened to the Jews in the Holocaust, there are other victims of circumstance too,” Lori said. “These people felt awful about the history, and they weren’t alive at the time. They have to live with that, and they’re doing everything to make it better. Not right, but better.”
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Slinger resident Lori Pachefsky is a member of Temple Menorah and belongs to Haddasah. Her son, Andy Pachefsky, lives in Bayside and attends Congregation Emanu-El B’ne Jeshurun in River Hills.
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