Mother’s Day is right around the corner, and no one deserves a celebration more than your Jewish mother. She has sacrificed her entire life for your happiness, and if you don’t believe me, just ask her.
Remember that weird period of time when you were a sort of amorphous blob made up of a soul, some light and maybe a bunch of nebulous, ethereal stuff, just chilling in heaven’s waiting room, killing time until it was your turn to be born? Me neither, but there we probably were. All we had to do to enter this world was to choose the mother that was going to be our guiding light and caretaker forevermore. And remember how meticulously you surveyed all of the options and then made the audacious choice to have a Jewish mother? We knew even in our blob state that having a Jewish mother was a gift and a privilege and also our best chance at survival in this often harsh world we would be living in for the next 120 years.
Being a Jewish mother is not only a state of physical being, it can also be a state of mind.
A Jewish mother will feed you. Often, and a lot. After all, you are just skin and bones! Due in part to the hardships and oppression they suffered, generations of Jewish mothers and grandmothers have been overtaken by the compulsion to show how much they care by force-feeding their family. Your Jewish mother will likely be possessed by the ancient urge to cram you full of home cooked chicken soup and brisket. To a Jewish mother, preparing a meal is an act of sacred service and duty, almost a religious obligation; food is a conduit to communicating love and Jewish mothers know that feeding their children will give them their best chance to survive and thrive.
Jewish mothers are rebels. It was Jewish mothers who disobeyed Pharaoh and refused to kill Jewish baby boys, making them the heroes of the first recorded instance of civil disobedience. A Jewish mother will not hesitate to put her life on the line because she has understood the assignment; to protect her children at any cost. And she will certainly not mind bargaining with God if needed.
There is a story of a Jewish mother who took her child for a walk on a windy day along the seashore. The child was bundled in a warm coat, heavy boots, a scarf, gloves and a wool hat. Suddenly, a great wave came roaring in, soaking the mother and sweeping her child away into the sea.
Without hesitation, the mother raised her arms to the heavens and cried out “Oh my Lord! How could you take my little boy away? Shall the judge of the entire world not do justice?”
Immediately, another wave came and swept the child back to shore.
The mother checked carefully, and the child was perfectly fine. His coat was fine, his boots still on his feet, his gloves on his hands and his scarf tied around his neck…but wait…
The mother raised one hand to heaven, the other pointing at her son, and yelled: “He had a hat!”
Jewish mothers are on the job even in death. Our matriarch Rachel set the bar high for Jewish mothers. Rachel insisted on being buried on the road leading from Jerusalem to Bavel, instead of next to her husband’s burial place. She had foreseen that one day her children would be taken into captivity and would use this road on their journey. She wanted to be there when this happened so that she could plead with God on their behalf as they left.
A cry is heard in Ramah — Wailing, bitter weeping — Rachel weeping for her children. She refuses to be comforted For her children, who are gone.
Thus said G‑d: Restrain your voice from weeping, Your eyes from shedding tears; For there is a reward for your labor — declares G‑d: They shall return from the enemy’s land.
And there is hope for your future —declares G‑d: Your children shall return to their borders.
Jewish mothers know what’s best for you. You might as well accept it. A Jewish mother will always know how you should dress for the weather, what and how much you need to eat, that getting an education is a non-negotiable and that teaching you to be a mensch will set you up for success in life. Her anxiety about your wellbeing both current and future, and her attempts at guilt-tripping you into doing what she knows is best are just expressions of her love.
She wants you to carry on the torch of being Jewish. In the words of the iconic Mrs. Wolowitz on the Big Bang Theory, when she learns that her son who lives at home with her has a female guest in his bedroom and screams; “Is she Jewish?” And when he answers “Yes!” responds, “Then have fun!” The future of the Jewish people and your part in its continuity are always on the forefront of a Jewish mother’s mind. When a Jewish mother looks at her children she sees not only the present, but also their future and the future of the Jewish people, in which she is deeply invested.
A Jewish mother will never pretend that her love for you is anything but all consuming. And why should she? She was put on this earth to cherish you and keep you safe, and mold you in the way she knows is best for you. Yes, you may forever instinctively overdress for cold weather, equate food with love, and have a spouse and career that were carefully chosen for you, but there are much worse things in life than having a fiercely overprotective champion of your wellbeing and happiness behind you. All you have to do in return for this bounty is call her every week and tell her how much you love her.
Writer Beata Abraham, executive director and director of congregational learning for Congregation Beth Israel Ner Tamid, and a Jewish mother, reports that she is quite sure her four kids never call or appreciate her enough.
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