For the High Holy Days: We can disagree, but we must allow for civil discourse | Wisconsin Jewish Chronicle

For the High Holy Days: We can disagree, but we must allow for civil discourse 

 

One of my favorite pairs in the Talmud are the Rabbis Hillel and Shammai. These two wise sages loved to disagree. They disputed over Hanukkah candle lighting, Sukkot offerings, Torah study, even the telling of little white lies, such as referring to a less than beautiful bride on her wedding day as ‘fair and attractive.’ 

What I love most about this duo is not just their opinions, but how they related to one another. Despite spending years disagreeing, there was mutual understanding and respect between them. A tosefta in Yevamot teaches, “Even though the Houses of Hillel and Shammai debated, this didn’t prevent someone from either house marrying a wife from the other. Rather, they acted with truth and peace between them.  As we learn in Zechariah (8:19): ‘But you must love honesty and integrity’.”  (Yevamot 1:3)  

Hillel and Shammai put their intellectual disagreements aside and offer us a perspective to approach this upcoming High Holiday season. We are living in a time where disagreements abound. Sitting in shul, or around the holiday meal table might unite you with someone who disagrees with you about Israel and what the right to defend herself means in practical terms in Gaza. As the anniversary of the tragedy of Oct. 7 approaches, how to commemorate, and judgement over what the Israeli government should or shouldn’t be doing, is both a unifying and polarizing issue.   

So too with the upcoming political election. Wisconsin is a battleground state. We are inundated daily with political ads on TV, in print and on radio telling us that there will be devastating consequences if we support one opponent over another.   

Though they differed in opinion, about Hillel and Shammai it is taught, Eilu v’ Eilu, divrei Elohim Chayim:  “These and these are the words of the Living God.” (Talmud, Eruvim 13:10) 

So too about conversations at our Yom Kippur break-the-fasts and pizza in the Sukkah. Their words and ours, these are the words of the living God. As we approach this holiday season and are commanded to atone for the sins of the past and start a new year of 5785 with a clean slate, we must try and do so with open minds, and a willingness to allow for civil discourse.  

This is not to suggest that we compromise our beliefs or endorse a different opinion. Rather, acknowledging that though we might disagree, we are still members of the same society and deserve mutual understanding and respect from one another. It is only in this way that we will be able to stand strong as a Jewish community and work together to decrease hate and make 5785, a safer, healthier, and better new year for us all. 

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Rabbi Shari Shamah is a Jewish life specialist for Moishe House, working with people in their 20s and 30s around the world to help them use Jewish texts to build community. In June, she will mark her 25th year as a rabbi in the Milwaukee area.