Special fake news Purim report: Netanyahu opens up on two-state solution | Wisconsin Jewish Chronicle

Special fake news Purim report: Netanyahu opens up on two-state solution

The Chronicle sat down with Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu of Israel on March 10, 2017. We met at a George Webb in the tiny northern Wisconsin town of May K’beleev.

Chronicle: May I call you Bibi?

Bibi: No.

Chronicle: Bibi, how much time do you spend thinking about the Jewish people of Wisconsin?

Bibi: Actually, the Jews of Wisconsin are very important to me. It’s important to have good relations with our friends in America and with all of the Diaspora and that includes everyone in Michigan.

Chronicle: Wisconsin.

Bibi: Whatever.

Chronicle: Bibi, can we talk about the two-state solution?

Bibi: I thought the Packers played well last season, didn’t you? Are you a Packers fan?

Chronicle: Come now, we really must discuss the two-state solution.

Bibi: What solution can there possibly be? Illinois drivers are going to keep speeding through your state. You’re going to keep giving them tickets. This is a two-state problem with no solution.

Chronicle: No, I’m taking about the two-state solution in the Middle East.

Bibi: You know, some say Vince Lombardi was totally overrated as a coach but I disagree. What do you think?

Chronicle: Who would say such a thing? Such a shonda! Thank you for bringing that to our attention. You have done us a mitzvah.

Bibi: What’s a mitzvah?

Chronicle: Bibi, did you know we appreciate you so much that we named several county highways after you? Rawson Avenue on the south side is Highway BB. May I nickname you “Rawson”?

Bibi: This is an interview?

Chronicle: No, this is meaningless drivel we typed up for Purim.

Bibi: Ah, just what I would expect from the media.

This article is completely invented. We did not interview the prime minister of Israel for this report. It is false.