Photographers’ best tips on b’nai mitzvahs, weddings | Wisconsin Jewish Chronicle

Photographers’ best tips on b’nai mitzvahs, weddings

 Patti Gorsky has been planning special events for decades, but when it came to the bat mitzvahs for her own two daughters, it wasn’t easy.

“When it’s your budget and your family, it’s a stresser in a different way,” said Gorsky, the executive director for the Make-A-Wish Foundation of Wisconsin. “We’re blessed to have so many family and friends but you have to draw the line. I also strongly believe that we should have a charity component included in the plans so we don’t go overboard and lose the meaning.”

B’nai mitzvahs and weddings are important life cycle events that everyone wants to be perfect in every way. But it’s not just the best laid plans of mice and men that often go awry; those of mothers and brides can go askew as well.

Gorsky recalls attending a celebration reception for a dear friend and noticing that the caterer was running low on food. “I’m close enough that I could just take charge,” Gorsky said. “I got on the phone and more food was delivered in no time. It’s what I do for a living so it was easy for me to pull off.”      

The hungry mob was fed, the celebration went on and an already strong friendship was cemented for life.        

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One person is part of the celebration from the beginning of the big day to end: the photographer who captures most of the important moments from start to finish, making a record, a keepsake that is intended to be kept for generations. The Chronicle asked three local photographers for advice on making sure things run smoothly. Here is what they had to say:

Kipp Friedman

Since 2002, Kipp Friedman has shot more than 320 b’nai mitzvahs in the Milwaukee area.

“The most helpful thing to me is to have a list of photographs that they definitely want to be captured,” Friedman said.

“I tend to shoot everything, but you want to make sure that your photographer has the global view of the day.

“You can’t shoot the actual bar mitzvah unless it’s an Orthodox service on a Sunday and it’s not on Shabbat,” he said. “Reform and Conservative are on a Friday night or Saturday and you need to shoot at a rehearsal.”

The photographer should be experienced enough to know all the things that happen, the pacing.

“Often the parents want what the table looks like,” he said. “They put in a lot of time and effort and they want pictures of what the table looks like before the hordes move in.”

One potential difficulty involving bat mitzvahs involves the hora, the circle dance where the guest of honor is raised above the crowd, the must-have shot.  “Sometimes the bat mitzvah’s attire is a bit too revealing at this point,” Friedman said. “I try to shoot on an angle to avoid any embarrassment.”

It’s also important for the DJ to coordinate, to make sure the photographer knows when it’s about to begin. “You can’t restage it if the photographer is in another room taking family pictures.”

Friedman advises that the family makes sure to introduce the photographer, the DJ, the caterer and anyone working the event. “We all have to be on the same page to make it successful,” he said. “We want to make sure that nothing is unanticipated.”

When the vendors don’t work together, it’s not pretty. “I’ve seen it all,” said Friedman. “I’ve seen DJs get into fights with caterers. There’s a lot of stress because everyone wants their part to go well.”

He remembers being in the balcony at Congregation Emanu El B’ne Jeshurun of River Hills, filming a service when he was tapped on the shoulder. “It was the caterer,” he said. “She said, ‘you didn’t get the place cards.’ I was in the middle of filming the service but the place cards were the most important to her!”

Friedman, former marketing staff member for the Jewish Community Center, learned his craft on the job from a photographer who did work for the JCC.

Ari Rosenthal        

“Put together a schedule that allows for some breathing room,” said Rosenthal, who started his photography business after working in the Los Angeles music and film industries for a few years. “Build in some flexibility to deal with the unexpected.”

He taught himself how to do video montages and began doing b’nai mitzvahs and weddings. By 2004 he had a portfolio and decided to come home to Milwaukee. Now he has five photographers who work with him and they concentrate on weddings.

“You need to allow time for someone to go back to the hotel where the bride forgot her veil,” he said. “If you build in a half hour of extra time this sort of thing is no problem. I just made other shots while the veil was being retrieved.”

The panic that ensued in this situation is not hard to imagine: Rosenthal was shooting pictures of a bride and her maids, one of whom was eating salsa and chips. The bride breezed by and the salsa plopped on her dress.

“She was crying,” Rosenthal said of the bride. “It was very visible. We got some tonic water and pretty much got the stain out.”         

Another near miss was when a couple decided not to hire transportation for their party of eight maids and groomsmen. One of those standing up forgot to get gas and were running quite late. Rosenthal said he recommends popping for a single vehicle to make sure everyone arrives on time.        

Rosenthal also suggests that brides not place too much stock in what they see in the magazines or on television. “Milwaukee is not Chicago or L.A.,” he said. “The wedding industry is an insatiable monster. You don’t have to follow every trend.”

One trend is to have two or three photographers for the big day. Rosenthal said he can provide it but most events – all but the very largest – do not need more than one photographer.

Get advice from local vendors and people who are interested in your happiness. “I would rather sell a smaller package than something the couple might regret later.”

Planning and communication is key. “If you hire a florist who does great work but don’t say exactly what you want, you could wind up surprised.”

Dan Zaitz

Dan Zaitz said the most important thing to consider when hiring a photographer is whether your personalities mesh.

“If you have any qualms, don’t go with that person,” Zaitz said. “You’re going to spend an entire day, a very important day in your life, with him, so make sure you get along.”

Zaitz has three degrees from the Art Institute of Chicago, including a master’s in art education. He started out in commercial photography doing fashion in Chicago before moving to Los Angeles where he still-photographed the stars of Seinfeld and Baywatch. He said he moved to Milwaukee because he didn’t want to raise his children in Los Angeles. In addition to doing weddings and some b’nai mitzvahs, he continues to do commercial work. He was hired by the Rolling Stones to cover their concert in Milwaukee last year.

Zaitz tells his clients not to waste their money on tchotchkes – “all the cheap sun glasses and the like just wind up on the floor” – and spend your money on what really matters.  Another piece of advice, especially for brides, is to ignore most of what they see on Pinterest.

“I’m a firm believer in collaboration, but a lot of photographers want to pull their hair out over Pinterest,” he said.

Take for example the bride who wants the perfect shot in a field at dusk. But the wedding’s in the city and at dusk the guests will be having dinner.

One surprising thing he’s seen is that a lot more couples want a grittier, urban decay creative shot for their wedding.

Another suggestion is to skip the receiving line. “It wastes too much time,” he said. “We could be doing the formal pictures and get better shots of the guests at the reception.”

Be realistic about the timeline, Zaitz tells his clients. “If you are having the reception in Brookfield and want a creative shot at the Calatrava, we can do it but we’ll have 30 minutes less time to shoot at the reception.”

Zaitz also tells his clients to build in more time than they think they’ll need. “I’d rather have time to kill than to wish I had 30 seconds more,” he said.