Hineni (I am here) as a rebbitzen, although I did not choose to become one.
When my husband, Rabbi David Brusin, entered the first class of the Reconstructionist Rabbinical College in 1968, the women’s liberation movement was in its nascent stages, and as a child of the 1960s, I embraced feminism. I refused to be defined by David’s choices.
After his ordination, David took his first pulpit in a small congregation in Pittsburgh, where he also taught part-time at a local college. Several of the women in the congregation invited me to attend a meeting of the local Hadassah chapter with them soon after we settled into our new home.
During the car ride together to the meeting, one of the women remarked: “Well, of course, you’ll have to join. You’re the rebbitzen, after all. You must join.” These women may have been liberated by the women’s movement in some ways, but they had decidedly unliberated views of the role of a rabbi’s wife.
I grew up in a secular home, albeit one filled with yiddishkeit. Because my family never belonged to a synagogue, I was not prepared for the rigors of synagogue life and the demands placed upon me because the man I chose to marry happened to become a rabbi.
In 1993, David became the rabbi of another small congregation that he helped to found, Milwaukee’s only Reconstructionist synagogue, Congregation Shir Hadash. But the women (and men) in that community never placed any demands upon me.
We both did everything we could to nurture Shir and help it to grow and develop and become a welcoming, inclusive community, one that I’m proud of.
I’m proud that Shir aligns itself with interfaith and interdenominational groups like MICAH (Milwaukee Inner-city Churches Allied for Hope) and Tikun Ha-Irthat work toward social justice in our community. I’m proud it lends a hand to plant neighborhood gardens, register voters and serve at meal sites.
Na’aseh (we will do). Shir Hadash tries to do what needs to be done to heal the world for our Milwaukee Jewishcommunity and for all the people in our community.
I’m proud that there are so many options for everyone to participate in our services if they choose to do so: by joining Shir Mishugas, our synagogue volunteer musical ensemble group; by coming up for one of the group alyot during our Torah services; by accepting a reading, or by picking up a percussion instrument; by joining in a hora; by joining in song — or just by listening or meditating with eyes closed.
I’m especially proud that from its inception Congregation Shir Hadash decided to affiliate with the Reconstructionist movement and thereby identify itself with the principles and values it represents that are expressed in our liturgy, the words we choose to say, and in our deeds, the things we choose to do.
For example, we don’t just ask for the blessings of peace for the Jewish people. We include the blessing for all who dwell on the earth. We don’t just recite the age%u2010old prayers in Hebrew that have come down to us from our ancestors.
We look below the line in our prayer book to the commentaries that help give those ancient prayers additional meaning and resonance. And we look into our hearts and contemporary culture. We believe Judaism is an evolving religious civilization, so today we also need songs, and prayers, and readings in English that give expression to our particular thoughts, questions, fears, and yearnings.
It is the only movement that has always ordained women and the first Jewish community to hold an official bat mitzvah ceremony in the synagogue more than 70 years ago. All our prayer books are gender neutral. A few years ago, Reconstructionists were the first to have a gay woman serve as president of its Rabbinical Association and now the first gay man as well, and we were the first movement to ordain openly gay and lesbian men and women as rabbis.
It is true that the other streams of Judaism have followed the lead of the Reconstructionist movement and adopted many of these traditions, but Reconstructionism has always been on the forefront of making these sorts of adaptations.
The Milwaukee Jewish community, and in particular, Congregation Shir Hadash, has enriched my life beyond measure. David and I chose to make Milwaukee our home, and we have never regretted that choice.
When David retires from Shir Hadash this June, I suppose that means I, too, will be retiring as its rebbitzen. I never chose to be a rebbitzen, but I am grateful that I have had the privilege of being one for these past 21 years.
Sandy Brusin is assistant director of First-year Composition at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee.
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