When I (Rivkie Spalter) was 7 years old, my family moved from London, U.K., to Brooklyn, N.Y., just before Passover. That is my first memory of my grandparents and my first Passover memory.
Arriving in their home, I experienced that amazing love that only grandparents can provide. What a treasured experience that was for me. My grandmother couldn’t wait to hug me and talk to me.
The first thing she did was show me photos of me that she had saved. She prepared special food for me and absolutely was fascinated by everything I had to say.
My grandfather, who spoke very little English, knew how to communicate that he was clearly in love with me. He insisted that I sit next to him. He shared his Haggadah with me and took such pleasure in the things I shared.
I can still feel the amazing warmth and love I felt that Passover. The relationship that we nurtured together then continued to grow and flourish over the years.
I have shared here a personal memory from my own memory book, yet it is also a communal memory, as each of us carries personal memories that connect to the unique heritage Passover contains for every Jew around the world.
I would like to share some thoughts about our roles as parents when it comes to the messages with which we would like to inspire our families.
Passover celebrates the holiday of G-d taking us out of Egypt, which was central to our process of becoming a people.
The importance of this event is mentioned in different places in the Torah and other resources, and I will refer to two places:
The first is the Ten Commandments. The very first of them starts out with this topic of exodus from Egypt.
G-d states, “I am the L-rd your G-d, Who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage” (Exodus 20:2). Why is it that G-d who has done many great things for our people, chooses our exodus from Egypt as the big idea for the first commandment?
The other is a phrase in the Talmud that says: “In every generation one must look upon himself as if he personally had gone out of Egypt” (Tractate Pesachim 116b).
So the question at hand is: What is it about Egypt that leaving that country where we were enslaved is the central theme of one of our most significant holidays?
In Hebrew the name of Egypt is Mitztrayim which comes from the word meitzar, a “limitation.” It is also related to the words tzar, “narrow,” and tzarah, “suffering.” So, we can learn through the meanings of Mitzrayim that Egypt is not just a place, but a state of being.
Each one of us has our own challenges. There are things that seem to cause a limitation in our lives. Passover is about recognizing that G-d has given us the ability to overcome the challenge and to rise above any limitation that we feel we have.
We are the ones who create our own attitude and approach to a challenge. In that sense, looking upon ourselves as if we have personally gone through the exodus from Egypt means that it is in our hands to choose how to cope with and overcome those different challenges, and that G-d is with us in our journey.
The fact that it is stated in the first commandment is a strong message to us that this way of being is a number one priority in our lives.
With this in mind as parents, we have a very important role on Passover. A central theme in this holiday is, “And you shall tell/teach your child,” as stated in the Haggadah, the Passover seder prayer book.
Our role is to transmit our heritage and the roots of how we became a people. Our children must know our roots, in order to keep our traditions and essence of who we are as Jews.
This is why the “seder book” is called Haggadah, as in Hebrew it comes from the root of the verb “to tell.” It shows us the centrality of our role as parents in this holiday.
We have the entire seder to arouse the interest and the curiosity of the child, and our children have meaningful ways to contribute to it. It is our role as parents to show our children that we see them as an important part of our holiday celebrations
It is a time of empowerment as we show them that we believe in them and their ability to become those who later will narrate and share it with others.
Do our children know how much importance is attached to their input and participation? What memories will we create this year that will stay with them as they grow up?
Rivkie Spalter is director and Dr. Naama Zoran is consultant of the Mequon Jewish Preschool.
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