Is it possible and even desirable to maintain civil, polite, respectful conversation with people with whom one disagrees on highly emotional issues?
About 60 people in effect said, “Yes it is” on March 17 at the Harry & Rose Samson Family Jewish Community Center.
This audience attended “Civility: A Community Conversation,” an event jointly sponsored by the Jewish Community Relations Council of the Milwaukee Jewish Federation, the JCC, MJF Women’s Division, and the National Council of Jewish Women-Milwaukee Section.
And more than 40 of the audience members signed a poster containing a “Milwaukee Jewish Community Civility Pledge” created by the JCRC. This stated:
“In order to protect free expression and create an atmosphere of civility in our community, I pledge…
• “To support free and open speech.
• “To listen carefully, seeking to understand opposing views.
• “To treat others with decency and honor.
• “To encourage mutual respect in spite of conflicting opinions.
• “To find value in opposing opinions.
• “To guard my tongue and choose my words carefully.”
Featured speaker Rabbi Steve Gutow, president and CEO of the Jewish Council for Public Affairs, said that uncivil discourse is common in America today. Attendees agreed that the Jewish community has become particularly vulnerable to uncivil speech, both from without and within, especially when discussing Israel.
Gutow said interrupting others when they speak has become commonplace. A congressman, Rep. Joe Wilson (R-S.C.), even interrupted President Obama’s speech on health care to Congress in 2009 by shouting, “You lie!”
Some people even try to justify interruption as an excusable and integral part of Jewish culture, Gutow said. Many people today try to demonize anyone who disagrees with them.
When discussing Israel, everyone on one side of the argument call everyone on the other side either a “self-hater” or a fascist, said Gutow. He quoted William Butler Yeats’s poem, “The Second Coming,” “The best lack all conviction, while the worst%u2028 are full of passionate intensity.”
Gutow tried to stress the idea that we must listen to each other not only to respond but also to learn and to understand the opposing point of view. We cannot have civil debate unless we treat each other with respect, he said.
He challenged the audience to speak up when people on our own side of an argument treat those on the other side rudely. We must learn how to rebuke each other from a position of love, he said.
Engaging in such civil behavior “can only make your lives more productive and more enjoyable,” Gutow said.
During a question session, Gutow acknowledged that some people on “the radical left and the radical right” are beyond the limits of tolerance. But he still urged people to strive for civility most of the time.
During the small discussion segment of the program, people at various tables proposed theories as to why Americans are getting ruder. These included fear, the anonymity and immediacy of new technology, religious absolutism, and radio demagoguery.
The JCRC provided items for participants to take home with them, including refrigerator magnets on which are printed “Civility” and related words, and small copies of the civility pledge.
Milwaukeean Susan Ellman, MLIS, has taught history and English composition at the high school level, and is a freelance writer at work on a historical novel.
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