God created parents and grandparents so that we won’t have to learn everything about life from our own mistakes. At least that seems to be one argument of the celebrated son of Milwaukee who has written a new book.
Those of us who know of Rabbi Michel Twerski of Milwaukee Congregation Beth Jehudah might not realize how many other famous scholars his illustrious family includes. Not only are the founders of many major Chassidic dynasties numbered among his ancestors, but his brothers are also internationally recognized authorities in different fields.
Outside of Milwaukee, perhaps the best known among them is the Marquette University educated psychiatrist, Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski, M.D. He has written dozens of books on popular psychology and spirituality. His latest is “Gevurah: My Life, Our World, and the Adventure of Turning 80” (Shaar Press, 272 pages, $22.99).
In many respects, Twerski’s book asserts the traditional Torah-centered moral values and mentshlikayt (common decency) of the Chassidic masters. But he also tackles the social and spiritual problems of today, along with guidance about raising children in the Internet age, weaving them together seamlessly.
Twerski has made a career of helping people with addiction problems, founding and directing the Gateway Rehabilitation Center in Pittsburgh, directing a hospital’s psychiatry department and teaching at the University of Pittsburgh’s medical school.
Additionally, he has written an advice column for the Hamodia newspaper. His work with the mentally ill draws upon Judaism, particularly the Musar teachings of Rabbi Yisroel Salanter and the Chafetz Chaim.
All one book
Although he has written 60 books, he contends that he really only wrote one book 60 different ways.
This particular incarnation of Twerski’s book is not a self-help book for people with mental health problems so much as a collection of reflections on his life and work.
This book targets a Jewish audience, and given the prevalence of Hebrew terms and the lack of a glossary, an Orthodox Jewish one. Unfortunately, the book’s religious tone might limit its appeal to more liberal or secular Jews.
Twerski reflects upon the verse from Psalm 90, “The days of our years among them are 70 years, and if with strength, 80 years.” He examines what this special strength (the gevurah of the title) might be, and why one might merit those additional ten years.
Twerski imparts the lessons he learned from his father and other great rabbis, many of who were related to him. His father, Rebbe Yaakov Yisroel Twerski (1900-1973), he recounts, was a genius as a disciplinarian.
Unlike many parent, who might scold a child or say, “You’re bad!” the elder Twerski would express disapproval with the simple statement “Es past nisht (It isn’t done).” Twerski contends that parents can hold children to high standards without damaging their self-esteem.
In one essential anecdote, Twerski recounts his favorite childhood memory. On Rosh HaShanah when he was nine years old, a visiting rabbi from Chicago invited him to play chess. The guest assured him that the game was permitted on the holiday. They played and the boy won, twice.
The next evening, his father summoned him to his office and, barely looking up from the book he was reading, interrogated him. The elder Rabbi Twerski reacted to his son’s admission with an “almost imperceptible” shake of his head, just enough to communicate disappointment without condemnation. After a few moments of silence and “with a faint trace of a twinkle,” he looked up again and asked, “You beat him?”
Many Jews today value tzedakah (charity)or support for Israel and Jewish institutions as proof of what good Jews they are, or the stringency with which they adhere to the mitzvot.
Throughout the book, Twerski emphasizes, as Rabbi Chaim Vital%u2028of Safed (1543-1620) taught, that even more important than commandments and sins, one must be cautious about one’s character. A Torah-observant Jew who beats his wife, Twerski argues, should be as impossible as a Torah-observant Jew who eats pork.
According to Twerski, the ethical treatment of one’s fellow human beings, especially members of one’s family, and cultivating such character traits as gentleness, patience, and humility are crucial Jewish obligations.
One should not have to wait until one is 80 to begin assessing one’s character. For anyone wishing to build a career, a relationship, or a family, especially those of us who did not attend an Orthodox day school where posters about Torah principles adorned the classroom walls, Twerski’s book offers a refreshing, but long overdue new perspective.
Whether one has read any of Twerski’s previous books, this one has merit in its own right. The reader seeking a fast-paced narrative about a childhood in Milwaukee during the 1930’s and 1940’s will not find it here. Nor does it spell out a schematic self-improvement program.
This is not a book that can be read and digested in a single sitting. Unless one is accustomed to the “Pearls of Wisdom” collected essay genre, one might not know what to do with this book.
One could read the essays in random order. The book would, however, be an excellent source to read from and discuss at the family’s Shabbat dinner table.
Milwaukeean Susan Ellman, MLS, has taught high school history and English and is a free-lance writer at work on a historical novel.
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