I am an 83-year-old male and I have been married to my dear wife Shirlley for 63 wonderful years. We have shared marvelous times traveling, working together, raising three children and sharing many good times together with family, friends and co-workers.
But we also had some hard times like having our first child die at six months of age, plus two miscarriages, plus losing $200,000 in an investment fund that turned out to be a Ponzi scheme after 20 years of running legitimately.
Our home is Milwaukee, but in 1972, after creating three successful businesses, we decided to “chuck it all” and move to San Diego. There we both enjoyed another 38 years and then decided to move back to Milwaukee.
Well, then “it happened.” Shirley, was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. On Oct. 1, 1996, she fell down while walking on the sidewalk in our neighborhood and seriously injured herself.
Now comes my story. Life can be beautiful but within the flick of an eye all can change.
Since Shirley’s accident, I have become her 24/7 caregiver. Everything from cooking to housekeeping plus supplying all her personal needs.
This requires constant contact with each other except for a few times during the week when I have a woman come in for three hours in the morning to give me some relief time to meet with friends for a “coffee” break and conversation
I am not complaining, but just explaining the facts that pertain to my caregiver role.
When we were married and we repeated our vows to each other, I remember the words “through sickness and in health.” That has been our promise we have kept.
Being a caregiver at age 83 has its rewards. With all of the emotional ups and downs, it gives me the satisfaction and gratification of knowing that we are still together and enjoying each other. Most of our friends and relatives who would be our age have died.
So, here comes my message to all of you older (over 76) married people:
If one of you requires assistance because of illness or disability, I suggest that you take advantage of your ability to care for your mate, love each other, and thank the Almighty to allow you the opportunity to live a long life together with your family, relatives and friends.
Take advantage of your maturity, experience, knowledge and education. Help others and yourself with the wealth of knowledge you have acquired in life.
Every day is a gift. No matter what lies ahead it is better to live each day as if it is your last, for it may be.
Get rid of the "things" you have accumulated. Simplify, down size, free yourself from liabilities.
Say what you think, get rid of your hang ups. Take advantage of senior prices, eat what you enjoy and don’t bother looking at calorie counts.
Use your savings; you do not have to worry about retirement. Above all, have fun.
I would like this article to help any of you who need encouragement if the need arises.
Leonard “Sonny” Marcus was recently elected a vice commander of the Jewish War Veterans of the USA-Department of Wisconsin.
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