Rodney Ugent, longtime member of Beth El Ner Tamid Synagogue and active member of its Men’s Club, fully supports taking an inclusive approach toward interfaith households.
Ugent said, “I’m not so knowledgeable about the religious aspects of the issues, but I’ll support whatever the religious services committee recommends. It seems to me that it’s important for us to try to encourage interfaith families to raise their children Jewishly; and if one of the parents is made to feel unwanted in our midst, I think the children will feel that way, too.”
Ugent proudly noted that the Men’s Club already invites non-Jewish spouses to become members. “So many of the men volunteer to help set up the sukkah or work at the Purim carnival, we can’t say, ‘I’m sorry, we can’t include you.’ Actually, the club will take action next month to change our by-laws.”
However, Barbara Abrams, the first female president of the congregation, isn’t so sure she likes this idea. Admitting she may be “softening’ on the issue, she said she finds it “very emotional and upsetting.”
“In the past months I’ve thought a lot about the subject and do know friends and relatives who have been affected by intermarriages,” she said. “In my head I know we probably need to make changes, but my heart is saying ‘no.’ Maybe I feel threatened to have non-Jews take a more active role in our synagogue because it won’t feel like home.”
“My husband, Don, and I have been active members for nearly 40 years and it’s like a second home to us,” Abrams continued. “I guess I don’t want the hamish feeling to change. I suppose I fear that a new structure won’t be so hamish. It makes me feel uncomfortable.”
Additionally, Abrams noted that the congregation has already adjusted to policy changes of which she heartily approves. “As a Conservative synagogue, I was very pleased that we accepted the policy to include women in our minyan and that women could be ordained as rabbis.
“If we again change our policies, there will be a period of adjustment. And, in reality, in today’s changing world I know it’s important to embrace interfaith couples and families.
“But, it will take some time for me to be comfortable seeing non-Jews carrying the Torah and reciting prayers on the bimah.”
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