I remember the “joy of” era — “The Joy of Sex” (worth remembering and still valid), “The Joy of Yiddish” (almost a lost art), “The Joy of Cooking” (forget about it!). However, I never anticipated the Joy of 75.
Seventy-five was my grandmother (who lived to 92) in a cotton housedress, hair unstyled, vision fading, depression frequent. Seventy-five was my elderly mother (who lived to 85) still active but giving up the reins — ready for me to take over anything I would. I may be there soon, but for now, my 75 is full of joy.
My 75 is the doctor’s assistant who said to me the other day that if her arithmetic is correct, I must be 75. What is my secret, she wondered?
My 75 is the trainer who increases the intensity of my workout at every session.
My 75 is the young person who seriously insisted that I could not have gone to college in the 1940s; I must mean the ’60s.
My 75 is the joy of taking on new challenges every day at work — of being able to do things I have never done before, of sitting with a group of colleagues and having the satisfaction of making a contribution, of having a boss who believes I can still do it, of working with excitement with young people and knowing that I can adjust to the changing times and new approaches.
My 75 is the joy of figuring out how to use a new pocket PC or cell phone or computer program.
My Joy of 75 is looking around me and seeing all the other 75-year-olds who are also leading productive lives and enjoying the bonus granted us by improvements in nutrition, safety, health care, caring parents and families.
Not just about me
Why is my Joy of 75 important? It’s not all about me.
We live in a different world today — a world with new problems, one that will require some changes in attitude, thought, approaches and definitions.
One of those changes in attitude should result from how well and active many of us remain today. Because of that, for example, I believe well elderly programs should no longer automatically include people at age 55, 65, 70 or 75.
It is okay to provide the venue for such programs, if they are totally self-supporting. It is okay to provide scholarships for those who cannot afford the fees to attend them.
But it’s also time to cast away the myth that all elderly should be subsidized to avoid embarrassing the poor elderly. We know how to exercise confidentiality when we provide needed services to the young and other populations, and we can do the same with older adults.
It’s time to reconsider across the board senior discounts or free tuition in universities that takes money away from young people who really need it.
The flip side of the coin, though, is that it’s also time to stop discriminating (no matter how subtly) against older employees in hiring. A combination of young and old, experienced and novice, male and female, enriches the workplace and its employees.
It’s time to understand that there is joy in working — and that frequently the anticipated joy of retirement is a myth. The joy of working is finding the right spot for oneself, knowing that it may change over time and having the flexibility to find joy in the changes.
The joy of cooking no longer enchants me, but the joy of working out, traveling, spending time with my spouse, kids and grandchildren, working hard and playing hard still does.
The Joy of 75 is unanticipated, rewarding, exciting and gratifying. My Joy of 75 has helped me to see that it’s time for our world to change; and while I still have the energy, I want to help bring about that change.
I know that all the things I enjoy will eventually come to an end — and when they do, I do not want to forget what a joy it was.
Betty Lieberman, who recently celebrated her 75th birthday, is director of strategic services at the Milwaukee Jewish Federation.
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