This is the 12th in a series intended to paint a cumulative portrait of our Jewish community through interviews with randomly selected individuals. Today we focus on Laurel Bear.
If Laurel Bear asks for your opinion about something, don’t answer with a passive, “Whatever.”
“I hate it,” said the 44-year-old pediatrician and mother of three. “My kids cannot say it. ‘Whatever’ is not an answer; it’s dismissive. Take a stand.
“Nobody’s going to decide for [my daughters] what they need. Part of that is making decisions and then living by the consequences of those decisions,” said Bear in a recent interview in her home.
Laurel Bear lives according to that philosophy — with conviction, determination and responsibility.
With a Catholic father and Christian Scientist mother, Bear grew up in what she described as a “moral, but non-denominational household” in the small town of Cedar Grove, between Sheboygan and Port Washington.
Now, Bear, of Fox Point, is Jewish and deeply committed to her own spirituality and to building a Jewish life.
A family tragedy turned Bear to Judaism. After a fire in her parents’ home and her father’s death from his wounds, she consulted with Rabbi Ronald Shapiro of Congregation Shalom, the family rabbi of her then-boyfriend and now-husband Brian Bear.
“I went to Rabbi Ron and said, ‘I need a spiritual compass. I don’t know if I want to be a Jew or not.’ We met for a year and then I converted.
“I guess when you have a major tragedy in life, it puts things in perspective. I ask myself, ‘Do I want that? Do I need that?’ The list of what you really need is very short — family, friends…. We lost our house, our memories, our father. But we have us and that’s a good place to start,” she said.
In Oct. 2000, Bear became a bat mitzvah in a b’nai mitzvah ceremony with five other adults at Shalom. “It was wonderful,” she said.
“Some people laugh because they say I’m more Jewish than they are. The hardest thing for me is not having tradition,” she said, adding that she’s learned a tremendous amount from her mother-in-law, Nancie Bear.
“I find it really important to be spiritual, to find that kind of anchor that you feel good about.”
Bear has a lot to feel good about, according to her husband. “I don’t find many women who even come close to her. She’s a real jewel for the Jewish community and the overall community. She’s one of the most giving people I’ve ever met,” he said.
Family first
Brian, an obstetrician, and Laurel met during college, at a University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee three-year undergraduate program called Target MD, which feeds into the Medical College of Wisconsin.
She’s now a pediatrician on faculty at the Medical College, where she is an assistant professor in the department of pediatrics. Her work, mostly clinical, is in child development, following up with babies whose lives began in neonatal intensive care units.
“I’ve really been fortunate that I’ve found my niche,” Bear said. “Who else can go to work and be with children all day long? It’s just phenomenal.
“[But] as much as I love being a doctor, my kids have always come first,” she said, referring to daughters Alexandria, 15, Samantha, 13 and Michaela, 8. “The way we’ve set up our lives … I’ve always been able to be there for them.”
“And [for] my dogs,” she joked, snuggling with one of the family’s three Bichon Frises.
Still, Bear has devoted much of herself to the community. She’s been the medical director of the Harry & Rose Samson Family Jewish Community Center’s Steve and Shari Sadek Family Camp Interlaken for eight years and just completed a three-year stint as chairperson of its Interlaken committee. She also volunteers as camp doctor for a week or more each summer, bunking in the doctor’s cabin and assuming yearly improvement projects such as sewing drapes and reupholstering furniture.
She serves as vice president of programming on the JCC’s executive board, is a life member of NA’AMAT USA and has been involved in parent organizations in her daughters’ schools. She’s also a longtime member of masonic organizations.
“I think it’s important to do something,” said Bear. “But you can’t do everything.”
Not that she hasn’t tried, or, according to her husband, hasn’t succeeded. “Here you have a woman who converted to Judaism and has embraced it beyond what most people do. [In addition to her volunteerism] she has a regular job as a professional,” he said.
“What sets her apart is that she’s able to do those things and also be a great wife and mother.”
Perhaps most telling is that in spite of the impressive collection of paintings and sculptures throughout the Bear house, Laurel paused and kneeled beside a row of her daughters’ artwork. “This is my favorite,” she said.
Individuals for this column are selected at random from the Milwaukee Jewish Federation community data base. The Chronicle does not have access to donor information, nor contact members of the community regarding their giving habits.
Loading ...