The Jewish community’s continuing loss of interfaith couples and their children testifies to the failure of past strategies designed to keep them within the fold.
If we are to reverse this — and we must to stabilize Judaism’s future in North America — a new and creative response to the problem is needed immediately. Moreover, this new response must recognize both Jewish values and the reality of the situation.
Studies show that children are raised as Jews in 96 percent of the homes that have two Jewish parents. In contrast, only one-third of the children in homes with one Jewish parent are raised as Jews.
Moreover, about a fifth of the children from homes with two Jewish parents intermarry, while a staggering 74 percent of children from homes with one Jewish parent do so.
Clearly, the task before us is to increase the number of homes with two Jewish parents. We do that by encouraging Jews to marry Jews, and by doing so as often and in as many ways as we can.
But we cannot stop there. We also must encourage non-Jewish spouses to convert, and when it is necessary to convert their children as well.
The Conservative movement is uniquely positioned to lead the way on this because of our dual commitments to tradition and modernity. At the United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism’s recent convention in Boston, I put forth such a proposal.
Kiruv, literally “to bring close,” is the Hebrew word that until now has best characterized our movement’s outreach to non-Jewish spouses. Keruv approaches non-Jewish spouses in a welcoming and respectful manner. The intent is to involve them in Jewish life to the degree they are comfortable and at their own pace.
It has not been enough. What we need is edud.
Inspire potential Jews
Edud means to “encourage and support with passion.” It implies that we reach out with more than sensitivity and compassion, important as they are.
Edud means imparting as well a strong sense of destiny and purpose to being a Jew. It means strongly encouraging more than mere involvement on the periphery of Jewish life.
Edud means inspiring potential Jews by demonstrating how Judaism is distinguished from other religions and will enrich their lives.
It means inspiring non-Jewish spouses to convert to Judaism in the prescribed manner, and to bring their non-Jewish children into the fold as well. It also means convincing non-Jewish spouses of the value of allowing their children to convert, even if they decline to do so themselves.
Conversion is a great advancement over peripheral involvement. But edud must not stop there.
Our purpose is to create fully Jewish families to ensure the continuity of our community and our faith. To be fully Jewish, however, means to be Jewishly educated, to be conversant with the commitments, beliefs, values, history and challenges that we share as a covenantal people.
To be such a Jew means to engage in lifelong learning. For a movement, it means actively educating members, particularly new members, through synagogue programs and the other institutions of Conservative Judaism, including the Solomon Schechter day schools, United Synagogue Youth, Kadima, Camp Ramah and Koach.
This is Al Ha-Derekh, the way forward. This is the way to build Jewish observance, to instill Jewish ethical and moral values, and to perpetuate the joy, satisfaction, and spiritual enrichment inherent in living a Jewish life.
But edud does not mean giving up on couples who desire to remain interfaith. I am encouraging conversion. But I am not suggesting that we circle the wagons. We must not leave people we love outside our circle.
Pluralism always has been a hallmark of Conservative Judaism, and so it shall remain. There are reasons that some decline to convert. We must respect that fact as a reality of modern life.
Our role is to make our case as clearly and as passionately as possible. If we are not initially successful in encouraging conversion, there is no choice but to understand and to continue to embrace all those whom fate has brought to our door, to the extent that our own values and Jewish law permit.
We are not of the school of Shammai but of Hillel. We must keep the door open so we can continue to encourage and inspire.
The Conservative movement has demonstrated an ability to meet the challenge. Most Jewish population studies demonstrate that Conservative congregations have been successful in limiting interfaith marriages, though certainly not successful enough.
Our movement and its institutions have the richness of talent and resources to move forward on edud, to inspire non-Jews to become Jews and to live Jewish lives.
For too long, Jews discouraged non-Jews from seeking to convert. Even in this modern era that outmoded policy lingers in our psyches.
The effect has been to limit our ability to passionately encourage those closest to us to convert to Judaism. That has been to our detriment.
We can no longer afford complacency born of an historical insecurity. Not as a movement, a people, or a religion. Not if we truly care about survival.
Rabbi Jerome M. Epstein is the executive vice president of the United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism.
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