With a total of six million Jews who would perish at the hands of the Nazi machine, it is a bewildering concept that the diary of one victim can have such a monumental impact more than 70 years after the end of World War II. I have read firsthand accounts like Anne Frank’s diary, “The Pianist”by Wladslaw Szpilman, in addition to an abundance of scholarly material about Nazi Germany throughout the course of my college career. However, it was the diary of Etty Hillesum that would grant me a sincerely enlightened perspective of the Holocaust. It was through her diary I gained the feeling that I was no longer abstractly staring at a black and white photograph of a concentration camp. I certainly was not reading an academic article, written in the luxury of an air conditioned office adorned with a wall of fancy degrees. Rather, I developed an unintentional bond with this 29-year-old woman that was at first incredibly difficult to understand. The eloquence of her writing combined with an essence of mystery surrounding her behavior made her an individual of great curiosity to me.
The unfortunate truth is Etty Hillesum would not live to see the fall of the Third Reich. In November of 1943, Esther "Etty" Hillesum would meet a premature demise at Auschwitz, a place that I can best describe as a metaphorical cesspool composed of elements of man’s greed, animosity and complete disregard for basic morality. While not much is known about her time at Auschwitz, Etty did manage to keep a detailed diary prior to her deportation from the Netherlands. It is people like Susan Stein who utilize the words of the diaries and letters to preserve the legacy that Holocaust victims have left behind for us.
I had the wonderful opportunity to interview Susan, who I consider to be an expert on "All things Etty." Susan has been able to condense over 800 pages of Etty’s writings into a one-hour play, where she assumes the role of Etty. Utilizing minimal outside sources to enhance her acting, Susan’s play has reached an astonishing audience of over 45,000 people to date. Susan was able to grant me a combination of insight into Etty’s life and possible explanations to some of the bizarre choices she made. It was after talking with Susan I came to the conclusion that my attachment to Etty was not unusual. Rather it is quite possible that this is what Etty had intended from the beginning.
Susan speculates that if Etty had taken the opportunities to go into hiding, her chances of survival would have been relatively high. Yet, Etty voluntarily accepted her impending fate, choosing to stick with her family and share the fate of her people. The thought of Etty Hillesum in a parallel universe dying peacefully as an elderly woman, is an extremely pleasant image. It is this mirage that sparked within me feelings of hatred, anger and hostility towards Etty’s choice. Knowing that millions of victims did unimaginable things for the opportunity of survival, makes Etty’s decision appear selfish and naive. However, even though Etty’s choice is something that Susan still does not fully understand, it has something she has come to accept. She believes that Etty’s life served to achieve a higher purpose.
There is a difference between accepting death, and truly wishing to perish for the sake of one’s religion. Susan wonders if Etty were here today, would she do everything the same with the knowledge we now have. Etty’s choice was not to run blindly into death, but instead to record what was happening, understand why it was happening so quickly, and ultimately to live on through her writings. At its conception Etty’s diary served as a combative tool to assist her in her therapy for depression. It was merely an outlet for her emotions. But Etty’s need for understanding and her eventual evolution of emotional maturity can be viewed through the rapid transformation in her writings. Between March of 1941 and October of 1942 Etty undergoes a complete metamorphosis from her former state of youthful lust, impulsiveness, and at times narcissism. To Etty, life or death was not the point. It was her determination to not be a walking promotion of defeatism.
To conclude, do I believe Etty intended to live on through her diaries? There is not the most microscopic grain of doubt in my mind that this was her intention. Having already accepted the possibility of death, Etty chose to implant a small piece of herself into the pages of her writings. Readers are not merely getting a collection of text. They are receiving a gift in the form of a small section of Etty’s mind. It was because of this that I often had problems remembering that she was deceased. It felt to me as though she was a living, breathing person sitting right next to me. Etty’s writings are nothing short of a work of magic that was created under the most morbid of circumstances. On September 7, 1943 Etty discarded a postcard out of the window of a transport train. It was discovered by a local farmer, who took the liberty of sending it. In this postcard was the last known correspondence of Etty "Esther" Hillesum. Her message to the world was that "we left the camp singing."
Lucas Greenwalt is a former Holocaust Education Resource Center and Jewish Museum Milwaukee intern, both programs of the Milwaukee Jewish Federation.
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See the play: “Etty”
“Etty” is a one-woman theatrical play based on the diaries and letters of Etty Hillesum, a young Dutch Jewish student who was deported to Auschwitz during the Holocaust. “Etty” is adapted and performed by Susan Stein.
The Holocaust Education Resource Center of the Milwaukee Jewish Federation is sponsoring “A Night to Remember,” which will feature the Milwaukee debut of “Etty.” The “A Night to Remember” also recognizes honorees Don Layden and Bruce Peckerman for their dedication to the Holocaust Education Resource Center.
What: “A Night to Remember,” featuring the play “Etty,” with dinner.
When: Nov. 18, 6-9 p.m.
Where: Marcus Center for the Performing Arts, 929 N. Water St.
Cost: $100
More info: milwaukeejewish.org/remember/
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