How often do you turn away when you see someone who looks or acts differently? You assume that they have some physical or emotional disability that limits what they might be able to accomplish or how they might function in mainstream society.
What a shame that we pass judgment. If we just took the time to know these individuals, we would discover how wrong we would be.
As director of the Chaverim (friends) adult special needs program of the Harry & Rose Samson Family Jewish Community Center for more than ten years, I have seen countless adults with special needs be productive and participating members of society.
This past October, Chaverim members helped pick apples at Barthel Fruit Farms in Mequon, which were donated to the Jewish Community Pantry. This is just one example of how adults with special needs give back to our community.
Each month, anywhere from 40 to 80 special needs adults, ranging in age from 18 to elderly, participate in many stimulating social, recreational, educational and Judaic programs that makes a difference in their lives.
Some have mild disabilities and are highly functioning, while others need regular assistance and are accompanied by their own aids. The majority of individuals we see fall somewhere in the middle.
Regardless of the severity of their disabilities, I have found time and again that all they need is the chance to perform mitzvot (commandments, good deeds) and they will jump at it because it is their opportunity to give back to a community that gives so much to them.
Beyond words
These are individuals constantly in search of activities to fill their time in a positive way. The satisfaction in watching our members leave with smiles on their faces following a wonderful program or activity, and being made to feel they are important, is beyond words.
Through our program, special needs adults have learned important social skills that help them to not be afraid of embarrassing themselves around others, whether in public or private. In this way they learn what is expected of them and how to interact as part of a group.
Do they make mistakes? Of course they do. Don’t we?
All this doesn’t happen by itself. I am blessed to work with a dedicated group of volunteers who continually strive to develop social, recreational, and educational skills that enhance the lives of Chaverim members.
The important thing is that special needs adults are given direction regarding correct ways to interact appropriately and that help them grow personally and become better individuals.
Unfortunately, many special needs individuals in the community are not aware of our program and should be encouraged to join so they too may grow and realize they are not alone.
Being handicapped is unfortunate, but it should in no way stop an individual from participating in programs within their limitations so they too can feel good about themselves and feel a sense of accomplishment.
Many of our special needs friends are home alone on any given evening. That is why it is so important that we provide transportation to our programs, affording them the opportunity to get out, interact, and be part of the community.
Chaverim members and volunteers regularly attend sporting events such as Bucks, Brewers and Admirals games throughout the year. Providing transportation also relieves the hardship on their loved ones and friends.
One important facet of the Chaverim program is our Friendship Series, where members learn how to make and keep friends. They also learn how to express themselves and how to deal with hurt feelings, plus a myriad of other issues they encounter in everyday life.
I was pleasantly surprised when a member asked, “What do you do when you want to be friends with someone who doesn’t want to be friends with you?” This thought-provoking question was asked at a lecture about how acceptance and forgiveness can enhance our lives
Another important program we offer is called Chaverim in the Kitchen, where members learn to prepare simple meals in the JCC kitchen that they can replicate at home for family and friends. Members have learned to prepare pizza, macaroni and cheese, apple crisp pudding, kugel (noodle pudding) and soon will be learning how to make matzoh ball soup.
Chaverim members aren’t the only ones who benefit from our program. Caregivers, family members and parents receive much-needed respite from the sometimes difficult task of taking care of these individuals regularly. Most caregivers and parents receive limited support from the outside, so they welcome the opportunity to have some time for themselves.
Then there are the many volunteers who benefit from helping others. The Chaverim program provides volunteers an opportunity to make friends and develop physically and socially in a warm caring environment. Many of our volunteers have developed deep-seated friendships with special needs adults.
So the next time you see someone who looks or acts differently, I ask you to apply the Golden Rule and not rush to judgment, for these people have the potential to be active, contributing members of society with a lot to give.
Special needs adults are just like you and I, and should not be pushed aside or ignored because they have a handicap. It is essential that we make them feel wanted and important.
Hazzan Carey Cohen is director of the Chaverim Special Needs Adults Program of the Harry & Rose Samson Family Jewish Community Center.
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