When she was growing up, Milwaukeean Suzy Peltz said, her parents were “survivors,” a word she always mentally put in quotes. Like the other Holocaust survivors she knew, “they came [to the United States] with nothing, they had children and they always had a positive attitude. They were tough on the outside.”
But as her parents grew frail from disease and age, her mother Rose died of cancer in her 40s, and her father Walter lived to 84, Peltz saw their personalities change.
The saddest thing was to see them grow fearful as they weakened physically, Peltz said.
“I saw the fear and the pain in their eyes. And it was a different level of pain [than in non-survivors],” she said. As their strength faded, their ability to block out their Holocaust experiences also waned. There was fear of separation from their children.
Another local resident, who requested anonymity, told The Chronicle that his mother experienced flashbacks to traumas she had experienced in the Holocaust, when her husband died. Living in Florida, far from her sons, her husband’s death turned her world upside down and caused her to lose her bearings.
With the help of JFS’s LinkAges program and its director Barbara Friedlander, this family was able to intervene in their mother’s distress and help her find her way to a new stability and a new home in Milwaukee.
‘Supporting resilience’
Once called “shell-shock,” then “survivor syndrome” and now “post traumatic stress disorder,” the residual damage of overwhelming tragedy can cause survivors to fear a recurrence of the traumatic event.
When survivors grow old, they may lose the distractions that, in a sense, have provided protection, such as occupations. That plus a series of other factors — the sense of isolation resulting from the loss of family members of one’s own generation; not being able to drive: having more time to think; and short-term memory loss — can sometimes cause survivors to lose their sense of time and become entangled in the past.
Now with survivors in their 70s, 80s and older, these problems affect members of the Milwaukee Jewish community. To help them and those who care for them, Jewish Family Services, the Jewish Home and Care Center and the Nathan & Esther Pelz Holocaust Education and Resource Center are partnering to present two programs in the next several weeks.
On Wednesday, Oct. 31, 2:30 p.m. and again on Thursday, Nov. 1, 9 a.m., at the Jewish home, 1414 N. Prospect Ave., David Bier, MSW, of Holocaust Community Services, a program of Chicago’s Jewish Child and Family Services, will present a session titled “Impact of Earlier Trauma,” for health care and other professionals working with Holocaust survivors and others who experienced earlier trauma.
Bier develops and provides training and consulting on the needs of survivors, advises and assists on restitution matters, co-leads a weekly group and plans community events for survivors.
In Milwaukee, he will discuss “what we can learn from survivors if we have the sensitivity and courage. By learning to listen and witness and honor the survivors,” we can help them and other trauma victims by “supporting their resilience.”
He will suggest situations that can be difficult for survivors and will consider the roles of survivors, perpetrators, bystanders, members of the armed forces, aid agencies and the public as well as those who work with survivors now.
On Sunday, Nov. 18, 9:30-noon, Charles Silow, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and director of the Program for Holocaust Survivors & Families (a service of the Jewish Home & Aging Services of West Bloomfield, Mich.) will speak to local survivor families at the Sarah Chudnow Campus.
As a child of survivors who is fluent in Yiddish, Silow has professional and personal experience with survivors and how their Holocaust memories continue to affect them.
His presentation, “Bridging the Past, Facing the Future,” will address the special issues associated with caring for Holocaust survivors. He will talk about supporting, honoring, caring for and loving our aging survivor parents, aunts, uncles and grandparents.
The session will provide an opportunity for asking questions and sharing experiences.
For more information or to register, contact Nathan & Esther Pelz Holocaust Education Resource Center coordinator Joyce Gutzke or director Bonnie Shafrin at 414-963-2714 or joyceg@milwaukeejewish.org.
HERC is a program of the Milwaukee Jewish Federation’s Coalition for Jewish Learning.
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