When Rabbi Renee Bauer signed the ketubah, Jewish marriage contract, with her partner, Rabbi Laurie Zimmerman, they also signed several legal documents, including a medical power of attorney and a will.
They could not sign a civil marriage certificate, so the two tried to use other documents to approximate the rights that come with legal marriage.
Bauer and Zimmerman still must check “single” on all federal forms.
As Wisconsin residents near the Nov. 7 election and the proposed “Marriage Amendment” to the state constitution, Congregation Sinai hosted Bauer and Fair Wisconsin, an organization opposing the amendment, to talk about the Jewish perspective on the issue.
“I want to live in a state that doesn’t discriminate against me and my partner,” she told a small group on Tuesday, Oct. 31.
Leaders at Sinai agree. As he introduced Bauer, Sinai spiritual leader Rabbi David Cohen explained why the synagogue held the event: “As human beings we have an obligation to fight discrimination wherever it occurs.”
An educator who has taught at Sinai, Bauer may be a perfect spokesperson. Spiritual leader of Congregation Mayim Rabim in Minneapolis and educator at a number of Madison synagogues, she is currently writing curriculum for Jewish Mosaic, a national organization working for GLBT inclusion in the mainstream Jewish community.
Second sentence is key
The proposed amendment reads: “Only a marriage between one man and one woman shall be valid or recognized as a marriage in this state. A legal status identical or substantially similar to that of marriage for unmarried individuals shall not be valid or recognized in this state.”
It is the second sentence of the amendment that is key, Bauer said. That sentence has been used in other states to dismiss domestic violence charges against unmarried defendants and to remove domestic partner benefits from state employees.
Reminding participants that it is already not legal for gay people to marry in the state of Wisconsin, she said that the proposed change “is really pushing it.”
The ban is dangerous for any minorities, she said. It is limiting rights for a minority group and basically legalizing discrimination, which historically has been “so bad for Jews.”
Bauer distributed copies of resolutions from Conservative, Reform and Reconstructionist rabbinical unions that all pledge their opposition to the amendment — or as Fair Wisconsin prefers to call it, the constitutional ban on civil unions and marriage.
Bauer pointed out that even though the Conservative movement is “embroiled in discussion on homosexuality,” United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism members did agree on opposing the ban.
She did acknowledge that the largest union of Orthodox rabbis has supported the amendment. The Chabad movement has remained silent.
Chance to make history
Milwaukee attorney Ruth Irvings, a board member of Fair Wisconsin, offered a legal perspective.
Referring to Bauer’s conscientiousness in signing a litany of legal documents with her partner, Irvings said that such steps would still not grant the same rights as a marriage license.
“There is nothing a same-sex couple with children can do to give both parents equal rights” with respect to the children, she said.
Irvings knows from personal experience. More than 20 years ago she and her partner were contemplating having children. They wanted their children to have a Jewish upbringing in a Jewish home, but were skeptical.
“Would mainstream Judaism in Milwaukee allow for it?” they wondered. To their delight, they discovered that yes, it could happen. Now the mother of two boys, 13 and almost 18, Irvings said that the Jewish community “welcomed us as a family.”
Of the coming election, Irvings told the audience, “We have a chance to make history.” In every other state where this amendment has been on the ballot, it has been voted in. Ultimately, she said, voter turnout will decide this issue.
After all of the discussion, one audience member admitted that she was very confused by the wording of the amendment. She predicted that many citizens would vote “yes” in error.
The confusing wording of the amendment on the ballot “was not an accident,” Irvings said. That is why, she said, it is so important over the next several days to educate your friends and neighbors on voting “no.”
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