Judaism is distinctly different than other religions as it is a home-based religion. Even though synagogue participation is important, our customs, traditions and many halachic obligations focus on creating a Jewish atmosphere in the home and in our daily activities.
Passover is one of the major holidays with obligations and celebrations that are almost exclusively performed in the home. The holiday begins with Passover preparation (cleaning the house of hametz and buying kosher-for-Passover food) and culminates with the seders themselves.
One of the primary halachic obligations of Passover is to retell the story of the Exodus from Egypt as the event that ultimately leads to the Jewish people receiving the Torah at Mt Sinai.
The structure of the haggadah, which begins with the Four Questions and “parent tips” for approaching the different personalities of the four sons, implies that the purpose of telling the story of the Exodus is to transmit this story to our children. Every symbolic act, from leaning, dipping and eating special foods, suggests that we must concretize and actively involve everyone in the experience of retelling the story so that an event that occurred over 4,000 years ago becomes real.
Even though activities are built into the traditional seder, we all know it is a long night for all children — be they the young, the disillusioned teen or those with special needs. The key to making the Passover seder meaningful for children is ownership and involvement.
One obvious way to foster feelings of ownership is through preparation. Some people begin preparing their homes for Passover right after Purim, and so should children. Following are some ideas for helping to build excitement, anticipation as well as feelings of involvement in something big and special.
• Read stories about Passover together. Wonderful stories for all ages not only describe the holiday, but also convey stories of heroism, customs in other countries, fables and midrashim.
• Go to the bookstore, surf the Internet.
• Teach your child Passover songs and give your child many opportunities for practice in addition to the obvious (the Four Questions). Taping the songs lets your child listen to them multiple times. You should also explain the meaning of the Hebrew songs.
• Create with your child Judaic symbols and decorations for the seder table. These include matzah covers, wine cups, placemats, theme centerpieces, seder plates and even masks and costumes that can be used during the seder. Many of these can be found in the JCC’s cookbook, “Tastes of Jewish Traditions,” published in December.
• Explore the Coalition for Jewish Learning’s Creativity Center, located in the north building on the Karl Campus. CJL, the education program of the Milwaukee Jewish Federation, has books and hundreds of craft ideas that can be completed either there or at home. CJL also has many modified haggadot that can be made and used by children during the seder.
• Cook with your child. (It may take a bit longer, but is well worth it.) If nothing else, the making of the haroset and the preparing of the seder plate provide memories that people retain from childhood.
• Finally, let your child help set the seder table.
Involvement
Involvement during the seder is the second challenge. Although the Four Questions, the songs, the dipping and the search for the afikomen are meant to engage and involve children, they may not be enough to sustain attention. Again, further creative ideas can be instituted depending on your comfort level of breaking from the traditional. Following are only a few:
• Integrate the use of a children’s haggadah, in addition to the standard one.
• Engage in discussions and ask questions throughout the seder, but be sure to plan ahead with questions that your children can answer. The questions need not require factual responses; rather they should elicit the children’s opinions and feelings.
• Try customs from other Jewish communities. For example, some of the customs of Sephardi Jews provide fun, concrete approaches to making the Passover story come alive. They include such activities as holding the matzah over one’s head and circling the table, wearing costumes and masks, tying matzah bags around children’s waists so that the adults can attempt to capture the matzah, and having a costumed “wanderer” come to the door and tell his story and why he left Egypt.
• Turn back the clock. My sister helps the Exodus experience come alive by hanging cloth from the chandelier in the family room. The whole family sits in the “tent” on pillows and couches while the story is told. Then we go to the table to eat and return to the “tent” after the Birkat HaMazon for songs and the conclusion of the seder.
Most of all, remember that the greatest benefit for children is the memories that are formed by the smells, the sounds and the sights, even if they only actively participate in the seder for short periods of time. Being enveloped by a positive experience is a great way to begin.
Pnina Goldfarb, Ph.D., is assistant director and director of educational services at the Harry & Rose Samson Family Jewish Community Center.
