What do a stand-up comedian, Amtrak conductor and NPR news anchor have in common?
They are the alter egos of some of the leaders of the state’s Jewish community — our rabbis!
Although this story might seem more appropriate for the holiday of Purim, The Chronicle only succeeded in snaring the “tales” that follow in time for this Passover issue.
Yet, as one of the rabbis interviewed pointed out, Passover is a celebration of liberation and freedom, so what better time to ask our busy spiritual leaders what their alternative “fantasy” job would be if they hadn’t chosen to be a rabbi. Though none of those interviewed had any regrets about their career choices, all seemed quite able to quickly rattle off what that alternative “dream” job might be.
“If I could make a living as a comic, offering clean, Jewish humor, I’d love it,” said Rabbi Benzion Twerski, assistant spiritual leader at Congregation Beth Jehudah. “I’d love to stand up and make people laugh.”
“I love humor and enjoy being surrounded by laughter and happiness,” he added.
Noting that he tries to incorporate humor into even such serious times as counseling sessions, he said, “Sometimes humor can help people see how ridiculous their position is. In couple’s therapy, I often find that one partner is always cold while the other is always hot. It’s interesting how G-d’s sense of humor comes out in how He pairs people.”
Twerski said that he has heard many speakers use humor to bring across a critical message. “I think humor is the most under-utilized angle of human emotion. I would love to create a humor curriculum of ways to utilize humor.”
Dubbed the “first kosher porter” in his youth, Rabbi Marc Berkson of Congregation Emanu-El B’ne Jeshurun said he would be a conductor on Amtrak. As a student at the reform rabbinic seminary in Cincinnati, he was able to realize his dream — even if for a short time.
“To pay my tuition, I worked as a Pullman porter on Amtrak traveling throughout Ohio. My fellow workers, many of whom were African-American and didn’t know any Jews, affectionately gave me my nickname,” he mused.
He’s always enjoyed trains, and although he does fly, Berkson said he loved planning a family trip to Seattle and Portland by rail several years ago.
“I grew up on the southside of Chicago and often took the South Shore Line. As little kid, my earliest memory of train travel was returning from visiting family in Michigan City, Ind. We drove there, but a snowstorm doomed our return, so we took the train home. I loved it.”
Who’s in the kitchen?
Expecting some razzing and raised eyebrows from his wife, Fagie, who is known for her elegant cooking, Rabbi Dovid Rapoport of Congregation Agudas Achim Chabad boldly announced he would be a chef. And not just any chef, but a gourmet chef!
“I enjoy mixing together ingredients to produce interesting foods, tastes and menus. I think putting a smile on people’s faces as they enjoy food is a mitzvah,” he said.
Acknowledging that he doesn’t spend much time in the kitchen, Rapoport said, “I like to eat and appreciate good food.”
Still, he theorized, “If G-d hadn’t taken us out of Egypt, I guess I’d have been a slave.”
“I knew I wanted to be a rabbi since I was 13-years-old,” admitted Beth El Ner Tamid Synagogue’s spiritual leader Rabbi Gideon Goldenholz. “But, since I had to major in something as an undergraduate [at Kent State University], I decided to get my bachelor’s degree in something else I liked — art. If I weren’t a rabbi, I’d probably be an industrial designer or an architect,” he said.
He added, “I’ve always enjoyed art and still putter around with painting, sculpting and woodworking — but only as a hobby. Years ago, as a student, I showed some of my works in local art exhibits and actually sold a few pieces.”
Rabbi Daniel Danson of Mount Sinai Congregation in Wausau and Rabbi Dena Feingold of Beth Hillel Temple in Kenosha could have given Katie Couric and Matt Lauer a run for their money. Ironically, both said they would have liked to work in broadcasting.
Feingold, who majored in communications at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, said, “For a short time, I actually considered becoming a newscaster for either radio or television because I’ve always enjoyed public speaking. I think I would have been a news anchor on National Public Radio. I guess I sort of realized my dream, but work in front of a different audience,” she laughed.
Danson would prefer to produce NPR programming rather than to announce it. “Though I have zero skills, I would love to produce a program like ‘To the Best of Our Knowledge.’ It’s a great journal of ideas, and I think it would be exciting to work on a program of that nature.
“I would enjoy the research process of bringing resources together and animating the procedure for such a project.”
Though she’s never had any sales experience, Rabbi Shari Shamah, assistant rabbi at Congregation Shalom, said she’d like to be a personal shopper. She confessed, “I love shoes and shopping, so to get paid to do it would be unbelievable.”
On a more serious note, she added, “I think helping people feel good about their appearance is a mitzvah. If I could find that perfect outfit that would make someone feel like a million bucks, I’d be thrilled. To boost someone’s self-esteem would be very rewarding — and fun, too!”
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